Quick Hits w/Pix
Let’s begin with this intriguing item from the rumor wire (and Karka’s wire is super sensitive, you betcha).
One of Karka’s most trusted (and he hopes trustworthy) sources told him last night that, according to his sources, one of America’s premier news networks (he wouldn’t say which one) is about to introduce its first openly straight member.
(This network may be a subsidiary of Archie Comics — I got this much out of my source — or it may indeed own Archie Comics. In the murky world of media monopolies, it’s often hard to keep track of who’s zooming who, to borrow a phrase from the Queen of Soul. Just axe Ben Bagdikian.)
[Warning: Subliminal photo to follow. Pay no attention. Text a friend. Update your status. Pee on someone’s wall. You’re not missing anything. This photo has nothing whatsoever to do with the preceding story. Pass right on by.]
Now before you jump to conclusions and start sending me angry and stupefyingly self-righteous emails, let me say that Karka is wholeheartedly in favor of straight people being given the opportunity to work in the entertainment industry, even if they are by their very nature unsuited for such work. (Really, if God had wanted straight people to work in show biz he would have made them thin, funny, clever, beautiful, witty, sexy, sensitive, perceptive, flamboyant, emotional, literate, empathetic, etc., etc., etc.)
But perhaps the times are indeed a-changin’. Perhaps at some future date, heterosexuals will come to have a place in — or even dominate — the world of entertainment.
And who knows: There might even be an opening for Jewish people.
And maybe even Conservatives. (Like anti-gay minister George Allan Rekers. Straight men like Rekers and his legion of “travel assistants” might even be able to clean up Hollywood and make the entertainment landscape once again safe for children. Isn’t that, after all, what America wants?)
Moving from rumor to fact: Jon Stewart demonstrated again the other night why he is indeed one of the most important men in America — if not the most important man in this fine country of ours. His energetic and very timely attack on politicians who spout meaningless phrases like “The American people want” should be required viewing in every classroom in America. Even classrooms in Alaska (you betcha!).
And now a pictorial shout out to Karka’s greatest fan.