The Real “Model” for Kevin Keller? / Media Shamanism / One More Thing the “Liberal Media” Won’t Tell You /  Porn Preferable to FOXNews? / Headline of the Day

David Moye’s description of Kevin Keller, the first openly gay character to appear in Archie Comics, got Karka to thinking. “This hunky new character, with blond curly hair and a strong Ben Affleck-like chin, shows up in Riverdale in Veronica Comics #202 and immediately becomes the apple of Veronica’s eye,” writes Moye.

Immediately Karka thought of another hunky character with blond hair and a strong chin, who showed up in Saving America Comics #2009 and immediately became the apple of America’s eye.

Now this was perhaps simply a response to Moye’s language. I mean, “Ben” rhymes with “Glen,” and “Affleck” rhymes with “Beck.” So perhaps it is totally natural that upon reading Moye’s description of “openly gay” Kevin Keller I immediately thought of Glen Beck. I certainly don’t mean to insinuate anything here. (Or to suggest that you draw any conclusions from what we might call Mr. Beck’s “body language” in the above photo, which for all Karka knows could have been doctored by the Vast Left Wing Gay Conspiracy.)

I merely report.

You must decide.

I certainly don’t think that just because Glen Beck has a high-pitched girly voice and flounces around the set and is always mincingly afraid of one girly thing or another and cries a whole girly lot—and may well have been the model for Kevin Keller—I don’t think that this means Glen Beck is himself gay.

Not gay-looking at all

That would be guilt by the most tenuous of associations, and we all know that Homo sapiens sapiens (not to be confused with Sapiens homo homo), with our huge brains, our astounding linguistic ability, our discriminating intellect, our intuition, our innate desire for truth, could never, even for a moment, fall prey to assuming guilt by association.

Even one instance of that would require us to strip both of those “sapiens” from our self-created title. And come up with a new one. (May Karka suggest Homo retardus retardus?)

To reiterate: Karka is not so naive as to believe that just because he thinks something is true—and let me repeat: I do not believe that Glen Beck is necessarily gay—he is not so naive as to believe that thinking something makes that something true. Though he realizes that if he did believe that—and was vocal enough about it—he too might end up with a highly rated show on television (and perhaps thus become the rotten apple of America’s eye).

You may think that Karka is just having a little bit of innocent fun here, but this all took a very sinister turn for me when I found out that Rupert Murdoch—who of course owns FOXNews—also owns Archie Comics. Now your research may fail to reveal this fact; let me simply say that Karka has sources that go beyond the ordinary resources available to most people.

So for those of you who feel inclined to speculate about what this obvious Kevin Keller-Glen Beck connection means and who would like to delve more deeply into these strange goings-on, Karka says, dive right in! But be warned: Once you go down the rabbit hole, once you enter the labyrinth of  our mass media and the “fairy tale” they create for us, you may never get out. The “massage” is so subtle, the nefariousness so nuanced, the manipulation so many-layered that you won’t even be able to vaguely remember what “sanity” felt like. (Karka’s intuition tells him that further research will reveal links between Mr. Beck and Richie Rich—they certainly do look a lot alike, don’t they?—and will further reveal that Mr. Beck may well have been the “model” for Hot Stuff as well as Richie Rich. Maybe even for Wendy, the Good Little Witch! You think Karka might be reaching here?

Working on “Mr. Worry.” Can you imagine a better description of Glen Beck’s show?)

But the shaman knows that he must die, that his ego must be annihilated, that he must be dismembered, that wild beasts must devour his flesh, that his bones must be scattered to the four winds before he can be reconstituted and be of value to his tribe.

So yes, the danger is great. But the potential value of the journey is equally great.

Let me just say that much about the modern world becomes crystal (even painfully) clear once you realize — and the “liberal media” will never tell you this—that Rupert Murdoch owns everything! (He even owns Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow; according to one of Karka’s sources, he keeps Ms. Maddow in what amounts to a “Barbie Castle” in one of his underground bunkers, or according to another source, on one his invisible submarines, and flies her to New York to tape her show on his broomstick, piloted by Cal Thomas, either that or one of his many private jets. Karka does not take seriously those reports that Murdoch owns his own wormhole and that he uses this wormhole to transport his minions from place to place and to micro-manage events on Terra. I mean, really. Karka’s credulity does have limits.)


Regarding those reports about all that porn viewing that’s been going on at the SEC: Karka always just assumed that those valiant people at the SEC (they put their lives on the line, protecting you and me every single day from fraud, deception, insider trading) spent all their time watching FOXNews. (I mean, since Rupert Murdoch owns the SEC too. . . .)


From the world of the NFL comes this headline: “Sicko changes mind, signs with Cowboys.” And here Karka thought that signing with the Cowboys would make you a sicko. Shows you what Karka knows!

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